DBing against OW...?????

[imthemom]

Well, met with L yesterday to work out our offer...everything is pretty standard as our state is 50/50 and Im not asking for anything that isnt due me by the state. Im thinking the only thing that is going to be a problem is our travel trailer..he wants to keep it and "share custody"...at first he offered this before I knew of OW and I agreed. since my discovery i have thought about it and decided that there is no way i can share use of that trailer when he will be using it with her. It has a queen bed in bedroom and bunk beds in back for kids. Im not going to sleep in the same bed they use ....there is just no way. so Im asking him to either buy me out or we sell it. H is not going to be happy about eiter so we will see what he decideds...

We have not spoke since our co parenting session on Mon. I did call the C on Wed. and apologize for walking out of her session but explained that i didnt feel they were going anywere. I dont like the idea that we have to "nudge" (her word) H into spending time with his only son. I have NEVER kept him from him, as a matter of fact I have pushed for there relationship from the beginning. At this point I feel like our S is pretty amazing and if he doesnt want to spend time with him thats his loss. It is not my job to make that happen. She said that H made another appt for next Tues. I told her that I would no longer be attending. I feel like he is making these appts as a way for him to validate himself and to rid himself of the guilt. I think he feels that as long as he is going he is AT LEAST doing that....but everything he talks about in the session regarding S14, (me contacting him re: S14 and school etc..) the C will then ask "is there any problems with that?" and he will state "no, W if very good about doing that" so why do we need to be there? H needs to step up and be a father...that is the only problem right now. and me having to sit there while he lays blame and gets hostile with me is no longer healthy for me or helping me detach from the situation. IM DONE....

Im concerned that he thinks now is a time that he should finally admit to S14 that he has a "girlfriend" (ugggg...raally? how old are we??) but im aware that i have no control over that. S14 is still in pretty bad shape and I dont thinkhe needs to find out about the D and the OW in the span of 2 months but .....I plan on asking him if he will please let me know before he does anything like that and that I think we should be together when he does it...not sure how that will go over.

taking the boys and some friends to look at xmas lights tonight and hot cocoa...im really trying to keep ocupied...when I have any alone time, even in the car, i end up in tears...I guess its the holidays and knowing that my stocking will be painfully empty this year, i dont know but Im so sad lately.