Well it has been so long since I posted that I need to create a new thread.
Anyway my W and I have kind of a argument the other day. Basically it was about sex. I was trying to tell her that we needed sex more often. She said that this is the same old thing that she is the way she is and if I want it more go and find someone else on the side.
This is the first time I have brought it up in the last 3 months and it was like she just kicked me in the teeth. I feel like well if that is the way she feels maybe it is time for us to get a D. I have been thinking about this for the last couple of weeks and I truthfully have no idea what to do with this.
It's like she really doesn't care about my feelings. After having this conversation you withdrew a lot. Just went into the cave.A couple of days later she needed in some way and I really wasn't there and she got really upset with me. Like its ok for her to be this way but it't not ok for me.
I don't know what else to say on this if I could get some advice it would be really helpful right now because Im seriously thinking about leaving this R>
I know it is hard to keep going when there is no relief some days. You have to let go of your expectations. Stop expecting some compensation for the things you do for her. Love her, do things because you've decided to love her without expecting anything.
Most women will give into having sex more frequently if their love tanks are full. What love language is she? Remember woman need a lot more than the sight of their h's naked to get turned on...sometimes the build up to sexual excitement happens in the daytime interactions with you. One pissy hurtful comment from you will kill any desire for days at a time unfortunately.
If she is not getting her needs met by you, she will not give you any. Sorry about that but you can change this by finding her love language then doing it. But remember don't expect immediate results....fulfill her love language because you've DECIDED to love her. Prayerfully, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Quote: Remember woman need a lot more than the sight of their h's naked to get turned on...sometimes the build up to sexual excitement happens in the daytime interactions with you. One pissy hurtful comment from you will kill any desire for days at a time unfortunately.
And Lee - I know it sounds stupid, but way too many women can see you asking for sex as you not wanting THEM but just sex - dumb, huh? -when what you really want is to feel LOVED by her. So try telling her "when you don't want to make love with me, I feel really unloved and rejected".
Also - where's she at with her thyroid replacement? Is she back to her old self in all other ways yet?
Quote: Remember woman need a lot more than the sight of their h's naked to get turned on...sometimes the build up to sexual excitement happens in the daytime interactions with you. One pissy hurtful comment from you will kill any desire for days at a time unfortunately.
Well that is the thing I understand this. I have been doing it. But after not saying anything for 3 weeks and being there for all of her stuff for the last 5 months. I think it is time for her to put somthing into this R. Besides her just being at home.
She wants to talk about all this stuff and says that after the new year she wants to start trying to have a baby. So as she says it will happen a lot more often. But if she can do it for a baby WHY CAN"T SHE DO IT FOR THE ONE SHE SUPPOSEDLY LOVES!!!!!
Its not like im asking to make love every day. Hell I ask maybe once a week. But everything is about her. Things that I need and she knows I need she doesn't care about.
I have tried telling her this is not just about sex. Its about this is what it takes to be connected to her.
Quote: But after not saying anything for 3 weeks and being there for all of her stuff for the last 5 months
. What does this mean? You attend events with her? Go out on dates? So you've been going at the love language of Quality Time? maybe? And it has not produced the return you are seeking.
Have you tried Words of Affirmation? Or maybe Physical Touch? I'm thinking physical touch because of her wanting the baby...sitting there holding the baby, touching the baby makes me think she may be craving you to touch her in a way that does not have any sexual connotations to it.
The physical touch one is diffently not her. There are times when she can't stand being touched by anybody. Most of the time my touching is non sexual. Meaning back scratches, hugs, messages and so forth. My W love language as far as I can tell is quality time, acts of service. I do try and be the good husband doing laundry. taking out the garabage, cleaning, doing dishes so on so forth. The problem is I have tried all of the languages and they do not seem to make a dang bit of good.
Like I said before if she doesn't get what she wants she gets mad. Says that im not doing this and doing that and the such.
She is right in a lot of things im not perfect. i do try very hard but that really doesn't matter now.
Lee - just wanted to say - physical touch is definitely one of my LLs - but when my thyroid problems were bad, even I didn't like being touched sometimes - when your body feels awful, and lots of things hurt, sometimes touch can be irritating.
Quote: physical touch is definitely one of my LLs - but when my thyroid problems were bad, even I didn't like being touched sometimes - when your body feels awful, and lots of things hurt, sometimes touch can be irritating.
Ok ELLIE, there you go throwing my whole theory off. Just when im on the brink I come to you guys and now I am rethinking this whole thing.
