First post, words of wisdom needed

[sunshine76]

Techguy, I hadn't really thought about anxiety until you brought it up, so thank you. I actually had an opportunity to bring it up to my partner today and she said that she had already spoke with the doctor about it, but the doctor would not prescribe anti-anxiety meds until she tried the anti-depressant first.


Val, you gave me a ton of stuff to think about! I have never even thought about the diffrence between a caretaker and a caregiver. I can see myself in both descriptions so now the challenge is to figure out how to begin eliminating my caretaking traits so that I can genuinely become a caregiver.

Sometimes I have to kind of laugh at my situation because in a very sick and twisted way this has been healthy for me.

Even though I want to grow old with my partner more than anything else in this world I am beginning to have moments when I just shrug my shoulders and say to myself, "if it works, great, but if it doesn't work you are going to be ok."

Realize that you CAN be there for your partner.. and she could completely resent you for that.

This is something else that I had not thought about very much. Strangely enough I am ok with the fact that she may resent me for being there for her. I truly love her and she has always been there for me so if sticking by her (in a healthy way) also leads to her resenting me than so be it. One of the big lessons that I have been learning is how to give up control. I realize that I cannot control if she loves me or resents me, but I can control my actions and how my actions make me feel about myself.

Thank you so much for sharing all of your insight. With each passing day I am beginning to understand that this journey really is all about me becoming happy and finding peace within myself.

I know that there is a long road in front of me and I have no idea what lies at the end of it, but something tells me that no matter what I discover I will come out of all of this with a smile on my face.