Doing the "Friends" Route Pt 2...

[Abbey]

H came home and showed me the parasite's texts. She's a frikken loon. Threatened him with "coming to me" and telling me all kinds of crap. There had to be 30 texts there and a crap load of calls he didn't bother to answer. We discussed the back in 2009 where she filled up his voice mail with 30 messages of swearing and crying and threats and all that crap. Plus filled up his text message base with some 45 mgs in less than 4 hours. That's 75 calls for god sakes!

Told him straight out... this deserves to be said: DO NOT worry about her coming to me. I can handle her. Nothing she can tell me would surprise me, nothing she can say will effect me. If we decide to go forward, it will be "day 1" for us. YES, there are lot of things that will have to be set in stone as a couple, because I will not LIVE like this ever again. BUT... DO NOT worry about her trying to turn me against you, my issues, our issues are OUR business... and if we decide to be a family then I'm fireproof where she's concerned. You and I will have things to deal with, but those are ours and can be dealt with, given a proper effort by both of us.

He and I also had a good convo about him being ready to get a lawyer. He keeps making deals with god about saying, get the house sold, otherwise he can't afford to take her to court. When she tells her H, then I'll have more access to my daughter. I told him, you keep making deals with god still...you aren't ready yet. You get moments where you are ready, but you aren't completely ready to swing that axe. She still has the capacity to manipulate you into backing down. When you are READY, nothing she will do or say will have any effect on you. Your only concern will BE your daughter and getting her away from the influence that she has on daughter. You have to be willing to slice off anyone who gets in the way of you getting your daughter. Cuz don't worry, she will use EVERYthing she can think of to try to destroy you. If you back down, then you are destined for a life full of misery, but WORSE, you've sentenced your daughter to it.

I told him, she will threaten to kill herself, kidnap the child, accuse him of god knows what... Me: You better grow the biggest set of balls you've ever had. Because you are going to need them.

Something really disgusting: H told me something about what OW said to her 13 year old daughter, after finding condoms on the deck after a coed sleep over. Yep, coed. She told one of the kids she'd rip his balls off, but then turned to her 13 year old and said: You better learn to swallow. WTF?

And my comment: you want your daughter growing up like that? He does not.

We talked about where he is emotionally, where I am emotionally and I did slip and say: IF we decide to go forward together, there is a lot of work that we would have to do.

He's actually went so far as to say he would contact lawyer after Christmas. We'll see. But... at least we're a little further ahead than we were even 2 weeks ago. It's like ground hog day. This progression is precisely the same way it happened the first time.

It's almost selfish of me to want him to not go too fast, in order for him to adequately hate her so we can put this thing to rest once and for all. Almost.

Abbey