The life I had with her wasn't wasted time. The money I spent on her was.
In fact... one of the things I have my students do at the beginning of term is write random anonymous questions on 3x5 cards in case I have five minutes at the end of class (I have to keep them there, but don't have enough time for a new concept or practice problem, etc).
One of their questions was "if you could go back to any point in your life with the experience and knowledge you have now, when would you go back to?" And I would go back to just before my wedding and get a serious prenup so that she couldn't take my retirement, but apart from that I wouldn't change much.
I loved being married. I don't begrudge the time at all. I do begrudge the fact that I spent tens of thousands of dollars on her education and, rather than paying that back, she publicly talks about how being married to me hindered her and that she is entitled to take even more.
And yes, I'm bitter about the woman she turned into, because that woman will be forcing me to pay for the rest of my life. I genuinely hope she fails, because what she is doing is, to me, evil, and I don't think that evil should be rewarded by success. I'm very angry with her, and I'm very angry with her "friends" who seduced her into doing this and convincing her it was in her best interests.
In the long run, I will be even better off. She has gone through life and convinced herself that she is entitled to money, success, and happiness just because she is reasonably intelligent, where I understand that I'm not entitled to anything and thus have to work like hell for everything I get. As a result, at the end of this she will simply have money, which she will spend away, but I will still be, to be honest, rather awesome.
There were a lot of ways she could have done this well. To continually break promises and continually escalate demands and drag this process out as long as possible--no, I have no respect for her any more. I had 18 fantastic years, and I don't begrudge that time at all. But to have that person turn around, taunt me with her prospective lovers, tell everyone how I oppressed her and restricted her earning potential, take my retirement, force me out of my house and tell people she thinks she's being "flexible and fair"? No, I'm bitter. I've earned it.
The sad truth is, I just don't believe in the legal institution of marriage any more. Relationships, yes; even the "emotional" institution of marriage. But not the legal. Anything that lets a woman take half of what her husband has worked for for their mutual future just because she got bored and horny for the polyamorous lifestyle simply isn't acceptable to me.
