Thanks everyone. It has been awhile since I have posted. Not much new in sitch with XW. We don't talk. She sent a text the other day and I did not respond. I don't respond much at all anymore unless absolutely necessary.
I do have a question though: If "going dark" is for me to be able to handle this better, isn't it also going to make it easier on her?
1) So what if it does? You think that what you've done so far is working to get her back? Last I checked, you were divorced AND she still infuriates you.
The only thing I'm sure you never did for any amount of time is DETACH and go dark, So how can you even ask this?
2) and NO, I don't think it would make it easier for her. The "easiest" thing for HER is what she has now and has had for a year now, which is the constant ability to yank your chain. LEARN FROM THIS... I've dated a few women, but none of them compare to my X.
WTH?? b/c they are not crazy? Are these other woman acting normal or kind to you? Do they interrupt and project their anger and inner turmoil onto you?
OR do you mean the woman don't compare to who your w once was? (or who you have morphed her into being in your memory???)
B/c that normal loving perfect woman you say you miss terribly, even after batchit crazy meanness from her, HAS BEEN MISSING for a solid year now...
so exactly who are you comparing these OW to?
If it's your present day wife, I would think any woman not in a psych hospital- would far exceed your w's behavior. You are not in touch with reality, Tad... and you are overlooking a whole ton of crap from her. Why? How does that help you at all? All I've thought about for some reason the last few days is how things were when we were so much younger. Not sure why...
b/c you are in Stuckville; population YOU....there is a part of you that is so used to wallowing in your pain and despair, you make it worse than it needs to be so you can stay in the place you know; it's comfy.
Another part of you is sick and tired of feeling sick and tired - and that part of you is the part you need to heed.
I also think it is sad how much she is missing out on. Not your problem...stop this train of thought. It's part of Stuckvile...
She has no idea that S17 wants to go to the police academy when he is done with high school and has no idea that S19 proposed to his girlfriend last February. It really makes me feel bad for her.
why focus on the ONE negative aspect of a positive thing in your life and your son's? Why not be happy for them and leave out the negative? Geez...
As for me, I've been working a lot of hours, I've deleted my "radio" FB page and found out today that I got the townhouse that I wanted. I will move in the middle of January. ^^^good
I'm doing much better "most" days, but man do I miss her.
sorry...but imo, you miss someone who has been gone for a very long time. That woman no longer exists.
Tad
nothing else for us to say Tad...good luck, make your Christmas a good one
and stop letting your pain seep into your son's lives, please...
you know, you really are in charge of your own life.
When you GET THAT, and own it, your life will vastly improve.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
