As always I never ceased to be amazed and grateful for the community I find myself in! Although i had a very happy childhood, and loving parents, I too cherished the dream of growing old with the person I loved. It is getting the rug pulled out from under your feet in Spades isn't it.
What I am getting back at last is my lightness of spirit - I knew I had lost something of myself post bomb. We talk a lot about losing ourselves in the marriage, but this was a bit of me that got lost in the trauma.
It is reconnecting with a lost bit of me, and it feels so good that I don't want to lose it again, ever. It is re-finding myself It isn't detachment exactly - that is about our attitude to our former spouse, but in letting go finally of them, something flows back into us. does this make sense?
i have always been a bit uneasy about the idea that we got lost in the marriage. maybe we did, but I certainly got lost post bomb, big time. Couldn't work out who i was. i used to know, and then I didn't. I think it was trauma, because I had a strong sense of identity prior to this.
