PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[25yearsmlc]

every positive action you take outweighs by at least ten times each mistake you make.

I've got to say - it doesn't feel that way, unless I am making 10 times more mistakes than positive actions.

learn to be quiet. You are far more concerned with being "right" than staying married.

Am I not to voice my opinion when I think W has done something inappropriate?


Wow...this^^^ says it all. um, NO you do NOT HAVE to correct her or say a damn thing when YOU think she has "done something inappropriate".

there are literally a dozen things my h does every week that I think are "inappropriate" but I choose not to whine about them.

If they are deal breakers, I bring them up & we resolve them. If they are merely annoying, I tell him perhaps twice, to make sure he hears me. Once I've done that, I let it go if it happens again.

After all, HE knows what bothers me, and if it's not a dealbreaker I learn to shut up and hold my tongue and hope I can cope better or that enough positive affirmation when he does what I love, can help. But if it is not a dealbreaker

I let it go. I find that most things are NOT dealbreakers and ought to be let go. Sort of "don't sweat the small stuff" and most stuff is small.

Peter. Pick your battles...

In the grand scheme of things, is that such a big deal? The woman is with your 9 y/o d A LOT, per you...she needs a break.

Yes - point taken, but why be secretive about it.

let me guess....B/c of how YOU react?

like all spouses who don't earn enough must do. Is she supposed to steal it from a bank?

She has over $100k in pre-marital accounts, I think it's unfair that all of my money is accounted for, but she feels the need to hide money from me. All pre-marital funds I had were either absorbed into a joint account early on, put down as a deposit for our house or in an IRA.

Don't mind read but keep track of that and get it back if the time comes

Peter, when you lose that parental voice of yours, your w MIGHT start to hear her own inner voice

Point taken - it does sound like a parent scolding. God I feel like I've wasted the last few months, I have worked on myself but keep backsliding, and the backsliding pushes her more to D.

If I was giving myself a score - it would be a D, I need to be an A if this is going to have any chance. I fear it's too late.

pfooofth....

I don't believe in "too late" til she is married to someone else.