I am four and half years post bomb and there are days I still struggle with it all.
For me, coming from a horrific childhood, I dreamt my whole life of what it would be like to have my own family, growing old with someone, sharing all the important moments of a lifetime.
When this all happened, it was more than just an end to a marriage, it was the end of a lifelong dream.
I do not expect to get over that in a mere four years. This was 30 years of my life.
And while I know that I can have new dreams, that doesnt negate the sorrow felt as a result of all this.
I always say, you feel what you feel. There is no right way or wrong way to feel, there is no timeline to meet. Your feelings are yours, they are valid, they matter.
As far as another relationship goes, I was ok alone. I met someone when I was not looking. It was nice to have someone to hang out with, to laugh with. I have since realized that I am not ready. I have told him how I feel. I have explained that I still have work to do on me. I cannot give him what he may be looking for. He lives 2 hours away. So, I do not know what will happen.
Either way, I will be ok. I know that I will be fine alone. For the first time in my life, I like me.
Antonia, please dont take the rejection from women personnally. It happens to me all the time. And Bea, it is true that women dont like to be around a woman alone. But that's their problem. I just keep trying or I do things by myself.
