I don't know if you want my thoughts here. I'm obviously no expert. Our threads sort of parted ways months ago and I figured that might have been someone's idea of conflict resolution, so I kept a low profile and worked on my situation. Nevertheles you took time to offer some good advice when I started here on the board, and I really appreciate that.
Like labug, I see some positives in all this. The day you got the tree and made cookies sounds great. And her saying she ought so not check work emails during family time is, in my opinion, a good sign. I don't remember you mentioning how things were before the EA, but you've certainly been working hard ever since. It seems like you're patient and manage to listen without reacting. That's not easy and your W has to see that, right?
Of course, I don't have to imagine what it feels like to endure a W's EA at work. Sure we shouldn't snoop around and get angry and pursue. And yeah, it's not attractive. But isn't all that completely normal? Not helpful, but normal? It's a bit like hitting someone in the nose and blaming them for bleeding. If the LBS can forgive the EA shouldn't they be able to forgive us for our reaction to it? I'm not saying we get a free pass but maybe don't beat yourself up so much - you're taking this seriously and doing a heck of a job DBing.
Your W says she is exhuasted from dealing with all of this. I'm sure she is. Things must be awkward at her office. She's not been honest with her coworkers, letting them believe your behavior just came out of nowhere. Seems like she's living....well not really two lives, but maybe two versions of the same life. She seems to have the kind of stress that comes from not being able to make a decision.
Maybe that's good for now....let her see the changes and get to a place where "if she was forced to decide now..." it would be to save the M. But a some point, sometime, she's going to have to make a decision...
