I think I used this analogy for someone else, so excuse me for recycling. Your W views you like a giant dammed up body of water. She's afraid that if she's nice to you or shows you affection, the dam will break and you will flood her and sweep her away. You need to show her that the dam won't break and that you can hold your emotions in check.
When she hugged you and you said "I love you", she started to see that dam breaking and felt some spray. That's going to scare her away for a while.
What you did is normal and natural -- it comes from a place of hurt and loss -- so don't feel badly about it.
Going forward if you get a little affection from her, try to keep cool and don't escalate. That shows her that the dam is secure and she can show you affection without then being forced to go swimming.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
