Never thought I'd be here......part 2

[25yearsmlc]

Don't mean to hijack but since many are asking, here...

RETROVAILLE

is a marriage retreat for couples in crisis (as opposed to marriage encounters that are more positively focussed on just getting a tune up).

Retrovaille means to "rediscover" and it began in Quebec. The Catholic Church started it but there are now interfaith retreats as well.

My h is not Catholic but when we went, the Retrovaille near us was being done on our anniversary weekend and I called to ask if there was a lot of Catholic dogma in it b/c I feared H would be turned off.

The folks at Retrovaille accurately said "no, you don't have to be Catholic to go" and they were right.

There were some prayers and mention of God and what marriage was intended to be, but H seemed fine with it. It did not feel "Catholic". Half those attending ours were not Catholic but I think most of them were Christian.

If you were not Christian and get turned off by "God Talk", then find the Retrovaille for interfaith marriages which may include agnostics.

My guess is that even though I never felt it was shoved down our throats, an atheist might be uncomfortable w/any religious connotations and Retrovaille does stress building a spiritual connection.


At ours, 4 couples were "Team" couples and they shared their stories with us. Each of them faced BAD BAD times in their past.

Their problems made ours pale in comparison (like having a child die, adultery, bankruptcy, etc)

yet these couples found their way back to each other.

(There was a retired priest there as well, sort of on the sidelines. He volunteered that if anyone felt harmed by the Church, he'd be willing to listen and address their grievances. I thought that was kind of brave).

You don't have to share in front of others, and for the most part, each couple/person does their own "homework" and then shares it with their spouse, usually.

There is a follow up program that's very useful...VERY..

but even just that weekend of Retrovaille, wherein you put your relationship as THE focus, and there is no blame assignments going on & forgiveness is demonstrated,

was profound for most of the couples.

Out of 25 couples at our retreat in 08, 22 are still married. Considering what brought them to Retrovaille (that their m's were crumbling)

that is a remarkable statistic.

Yes there's "work" to do in your marriage, and Retrovaille shows you how to do the work and that it's worth it.

I highly recommend it.