Purgatory... I know it feels like that but MWD would say that it's never too late to DB. If this is what you want, don't give up hope. Call the hotline and get into therapy. I'm glad that you both have been to therapy and I hope that it is still continuing.
Keep up the good work on the self improvement. I hope that you are doing these things for yourself first and foremost. You can't just tell him about the changes... you have to show him. It's okay to slip up from time to time. We all make mistakes. Just keep getting back on track and try again.
There are many stages to DB and the 180 is only one way to go. it could be that he is enjoying the changes but he doesn't trust that it's permanent. Keep showing him those changes.
It's going to be tough DBing from overseas but not impossible. The phone therapy offered here could be a great assistance to you guys. You can both do joint and individual therapy over the phone.
Its wonderful that he's being so supportive of you as you go through your medical issues. You do need to ask yourself if you want your H to stay because you need his insurance or because he wants to be with you. What kind of relationship do you want in the end? Make sure you're not manipulating him into staying because of this condition. Please don't take that the wrong way. I'm not saying that you'd intentionally do this. I've been there. So desperate for my H to stay... My xH stayed with me because he thought he should... I guarantee that it hurts far more to have someone stay just because they think they should than the pain of rejection.
Keep up with the therapy. If your counselor isn't helping... get a new one. Don't stop looking for a therapist you love. Chin up! Purgatory doesn't last forever.
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
