WHG, This sort of thing is something I struggle with too.
I find that detaching - meaning not initiating conversation, being fairly minimalist in my interactions, not offering assistance etc, pretty much results in a deterioration in my relationship with my H.
He responds in kind, and before you know it, things have escalated to the point where it feels like we are almost antagonistic.
And if he's scared and afraid of what I'm going to do/say - as he's reported to me repeatedly - how does withdrawing from him in this way help matters?
I know that detaching does not mean stop loving, but I'm still not sure how to get it right...
When I've been trying to keep the path home paved and smooth - and being happy accommodating, interested, cheerleading, etc, things seem much better. BUT, is this just enabling his cake eating?
I can't seem to work out the right approach in this regard.
