DBing against OW...?????

[imthemom]

there is something about sitting in a room with your 41 yr old husband and listening to him talk about and say over and over "my girlfriend" that rips my heart out.....

I know that I have to except that this is what he is going to do, and I need to find a way to get over it. I know that a month from now or maybe a year from now, my life will be totally differant and I wont feel this drowning pain that I feel now but patients has never been my strong point, that is something I need to work on and thought I had improved on until last night..i actually was surprised at what came out of me, I knew I was angry and had all this spinning inside of me but never intended on saying it out loud and had gone almost 2 months interacting with him and not saying a word...what brought it all out last night I dont know but after what i said and him seeing how much pain im actually in, and the look on his face...like he just wanted to punch me...was not the person I have known for almost 19 years.
so im done trying to make him understand...hes not going to. and if this thing turns into something that my son and I have to deal with on a daily basis, then that is out of my contrrol...I cannot choose who he brings into his life. it obviousley is more seriouse then he had let on to me, last week he was playing it down..saying we would never have to worry about running into them around town and that he would never flaunt it like that and now its how can he tell our S14 that he has a "girlfriend" and bring her into his life....he is 17 all over again and I am going to be 48 in 2 weeks with 3 kids...not a good mix.
The fact that he chooses a younge girl who works at a gas station to have this relationship with makes me sick.....I mean really? and his son is supose to look to him as an example of what a man should be?? I am at a lose that I was married to this person for that many years and never saw him capable of this.....The co dependancy is screaming in my face...