The conversation did veer towards R talk (primarily due to finances and how things would be handled) - I asked her what her goals were, her response "I don't know", I then asked "why is D going to help you achieve what you want", her response "I don't know - I just know that I don't love you and that you shouldn't be married to someone you don't love".
This sounds exactly like a parent scolding a child.
It would appear that you don't know what you want as well. You say you want to save the M, but then you do baffling things in the world of DB.
One thing is sure, you certainly aren't going to save any marriage by arguing financial logic with her. Or showing her how bad off financially she will be, because to her it's worth any price.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
