PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[NYCPeter]

I told her that it was inappropriate to have done that.

Even if it was to pay for outings etc, she should have told the girls that they were paid for by their grandparents.

I maintained my cool for most of the conversation - but told her that her behavior was inappropriate.

The conversation did veer towards R talk (primarily due to finances and how things would be handled) - I asked her what her goals were, her response "I don't know", I then asked "why is D going to help you achieve what you want", her response "I don't know - I just know that I don't love you and that you shouldn't be married to someone you don't love".

Fair enough I guess.
Continue to try to work on me and let her figure out what she wants.

And no - there will be no more cash lying around, but as she is paid primarily in cash - it's easy for her to not pay her share and put things on CC's which will eventually become joint debt.