Anyone heard from Denver or nine??

[25yearsmlc]

thanks for your interest 2,

25 - First, I wanted to thank you for your post about Retrovaille. You provided exactly what I was looking for and I may still have some questions but will save them for another time and thread.

by all means, do so. I believe in Retrovaille a lot. Didn't see anyone Not benefit.

Second, your post above had me thinking about you and the time and effort you put into repairing your M. You have imparted a tremendous amount of wisdom, advice, caution and common sense to a lot of posters on this forum; some directly and others indirectly. I have been the beneficiary of both!

What has me thinking is your most current post about how "the more you write, the worse you feel, in part." The fact that you post so often and really dig deep into the threads of other posters in order to provide the best advice and perspective seems to really take its toll on you.

2, I usually get a lot out of doing this. Professionally, I counsel people anyhow. Plus this particular board helped ME a lot back then. There were about 5 people, including 2 men who were SO helpful and gave me faith in men too. So sure, I pay it forward.

Yes There are people who frustrate me and sometimes I move on and sometimes I beat my head against the wall.

There are also some who so bring me down, and I can't even go there. Like it's too dark for me. Too reminiscent for me? Sure Sometimes. But for those people I usually stick around b/c I know that I've been there and now I'm not.

Other times it's b/c I feel that they are so deeply needy OR so resistant to changing themselves, that this board cannot do enough for them and I wonder if there's any point...

But the reason I think this is harder for me now....is below


Or, is it that you are simply referring to your idea about laying out your story in a new thread and that that task is what is weighing heavy on your mind?

it's this^^^..... as I look back at my old posts, I find myself wondering how much I have let go of. Even though I don't look back often (and my sister complimented me on that today as a matter of fact), but when I do, I hurt.

I am reminded of the worst emotional experience I ever had. It's like studying the plane crash you survived and even though you survived, you were deeply injured and took a long time to recover. Make sense?



I'm going to see my old mc this week b/c I want to touch base with him and do an "after action" report if you know what I mean...I want to be sure what I think I learned. If I could, I'd call my old DB coach but she retired.

Anyway, regardless of which it is, I have visions of you that remind me of the movie Ghost. The Patrick Swayze character learns how to enter the body of a living person in order to communicate with the person he loves. Except that when he does this, he expends so much energy that when he finally exits the body of the living person he is so drained of energy that he is practically immobile.

Is this how you are feeling? You give so much of yourself to others that you seem to be tearing open your own old wounds. Is that healthy?

So, I'm just interested in your thoughts on this.

Take care!

see thoughts above.

Thanks for your compliments and I'm glad if you were helped.