Accuracy, Just to reinforce what has been suggested by others:
My H recently apologised for being angry and hard to deal with when we were trying to sort out a financial matter.
When I asked him why he was angry, he said it was because he was afraid - specifically of me and of what I would do to him in our situation.
My first response (in my head only) was to shout 'what I would do to you?????'
Because I see myself as the victim in all of this. I don't want the marriage to end. I see him as ruining our future, wreckage our finances, etc.
His view is the opposite - to the extent that he experiences real fear of what I will do...
Coming to a realisation that this is how he's experienced our relationship has been a sobering thing, and makes me try to deal with his 'outbursts' in a different way. It's not easy, but there it is.
