Anyone heard from Denver or nine??

[25yearsmlc]

The more I write the worse I feel, in part.

It brings up old feelings that are terrible and dark, and then some good ones, and then some more bad ones. Then some teaching points I guess.

I am amazed at how hard it is for me to write this all out, and yet a part of me thinks it's going to be a good thing to finish.

Not that it's a novel, but just looking back at how I thought then, what I let go of and maybe what I'm still holding onto, brings up a lot.

Another learning point.

I often tell people not to keep looking back. Keeps you stuck in the past and the victimhood. Once you learned YOUR part, move along.

Well, I think I am right.

The other night I stared at H in a near fury, about something he did 5 years ago. I began to get mad all over again. How crazy is that? Thank God I stopped myself and said, "time for a walk"...

I literally had to remind myself "Oh yeah, you forgave that & he had his own perspective, remember?"

So yeah, looking backwards is a great way to stay sad/mad and not move forward.