Never thought I'd be here......part 2

[25yearsmlc]

listen to Mach, he's telling it like it is. And this spin of yours below is the opposite of how I'd read it as a woman. Why are you damning yourself at every turn? Stop the mind reading.

Or at least change it into happy mind reading, like "Ooooh, that Crimson looks so fine, I wish I could have him right now!" types of thoughts. At least it'd be fun then...you are reminding me of Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh...knock it off.

(There, was that direct enough?)

To answer your question, by the way, she did comment on the lack of decorations in the box I handed over. she e-mailed me this morning and said not to worry about it for this Christmas, but when I am taking stuff down just set hers aside. I know it's looking too far into the future, but that bummed me out thinking that we will STILL be at the place or worse next Christmas, too.


so go through them now, together. Dividing them up does not solidify things for a divorce, and parcing them out this way (ie YOU deciding) it makes it look like you are deciding who gets what, which smacks of control. B/C it is...

Why not Make it a non crappy time together, with some light drinks and snacks and candles lit, Christmas music going on, and together do it? If you must, tell son you are putting them in "two boxes, so he can have 2 trees that look nice". Cliched reassurances? yes Sure --it is-- but he's not even 2...


The initial point of her e-mail was to ask to change the exchange time for the baby this weekend because she is going to drive to LA (5-6 hours) to visit one of her friends. Actually, it's one of her friends that I really bonded with and miss in this process.

^^^sounds GOOD to me! This friend will sow a seed (or 2539 seeds) in her brain. Don't expect a 180 from her soon - but know that the friend will wonder wth is going on that your w HAD to leave you...and if the friend knows any of your w's background, that may come up too...



She always wanted to make the drive out to see her, but between the baby and me not wanting to cram in a car for 6 hours I never wanted to. I guess she is using this as some time to get done some things she has wanted to do that maybe I made hard to accomplish.


good. Better now than never. And don't think for a minute you won't be missed on the trip. I've made cross country trips with 2 kids under the age of 4 without h, (Army stuff) and it's no picnic.

YES It is too bad you did not make time for it, but hey, lesson learned. Show her that you see that the trip is a good thing now, (assuming she doesn't go nuts with the baby and there's no snow on the way). Don't rain on her parade. Show her the awakening...

I once had to have a friend fly out with me to make a cross country trip b/c it was so HARD to do with a small one in back, and I had two and they had the Chicken pox...damn that was a long trip.

But you know what? Mostly I recall my loyal friend and I laughing at night in the hotel, the kids splashing around in a pool, and playing games (and NOT scratching their pox, b/c the doctor had given me some GOOD stuff for them).

Trust me, She'll very much notice your absence...


Paternal me wants to make sure her car is running OK, but it's brand new - that's probably why she is making the trip. I replied but didn't mention the trip at all.

The trip sounds like a fun thing that is not a threat to you. Embrace it. Support it. Show your w a 180....(see, there are opportunities in this that you may be missing).

----Buying the car without me was a big deal I think, since I was always involved in that type of thing with her. That, paired with her trip, makes me want to believe that she is flourishing without me and happy to be alone. Again, I know I am thinking too much here.


HEY EYORE, STOP THAT STINKIN' THINKIN'...why can't you be happy for her growth? She needs it.

Maybe she learned something from you and the past car transactions. Ever think she might be glad about that? (And Maybe your ego is a little too fragile here and a little too self centered. You are making it all about you).

I'd bet a lot that she wished you were there, but was proud of herself afterwards. So she grew from it. You need that to happen.

and um, So, how is YOUR program going now?

Crimson

Hang in there Crimson, and don't read so much into things. Goodness...