2nd Thread - After almost 1 year, I keep going

[keep_going]

On Saturday when I was helping H get the kids in his car, a text came in (the alarm went off). The phone was sitting in the middle console. I glanced over and saw that it was a text, but didn't read it. H got super defensive and told me not to read his texts - they were private. I told him I didn't and he did not believe me. He was mad and I tried to explain a couple of times that I didn't. He was mean and rude and I told him he was being unfair and I didn't deserve him to treat me like that and that it hurt that he did not believe me.

I finally told him - "if you don't want to believe me, fine." and went inside. He left. About 15 minutes later he called to apologize. He said he was sorry and that he believed me. The interesting thing is that he was with OW. This is the second time that he apologizes after a fight when he is with OW. Most of the time, he never apologizes, even if he is mean or unfair. The only thing I can infer is that he tells her about the argument and she pushes him to apologize and get along with me.

Then yesterday when I picked up the kids I mentioned I wastaking them to see the fireworks. I usually ask him to join us - not last night. But he didn't seem bummed or bothered. He helped bundle them up, offered a blanket and even offered to watch the baby while I took the girls.

Right now we r home - I am sick, baby is sick and D4 is also sick and it's raining hard. I emailed H to let him know that we would not be going to swim class today, in case he was planning to go. He just called and asked how D4 is doing. He also asked about the fireworks and seemed bummed he missed them when I told him how nice they were.

We then started talking about logistics of nanny's severance payment, which is due today. We were not understanding each other and we both got inpatient and snippy (a bad dynamic we always have). He wants me to get a lot of detailed info right now. I told him I had to go - I am feeding the baby and will get him the info later when I have some time.

I am frustrated at myself that I got inpatient. I will gather all the info he needs, draft a nice email thanking him for his help and continue from there...