1. You, yourself, cannot prevent her from seeing, talking, texting, etc from the the OM. It'll happen whether or not you would like to think it has slowed down or texting less....
2. If YOU start getting sneaky about any of this, it'll eat you alive! Trust me! You'll either get caught in a sneaky tactic or you will not like the outcome of what you find and if it is the end of their "thing", you may ruin the positive outcome that you really want.
3. The whole GAL thing...it works a few different ways. It takes the focus off of her and HOPEFULLY puts it on you...meaning, something you do will trigger a spark in her...but ultimately it should make you feel better about yourself.
4. Kids are everything...I have 2. They can sense a lot of things. The most important thing you can do for yours is to focus on them, their well-being, and be glad that they are healthy.
5. Last, vent here when you need to. A lot of veterens check up on the boards and we have been there and done that....as much as you or anyone else don't want to admit, one of us here has done whatever you are about to do. Ask us what our outcome was, ask us what worked and what didn't....
Good luck, Man...it is a real rough road you are about to travel.
