ITM, Reading your post really hit home. It's like you were reading my mind. I feel the same sense of helplessness. I feel that my changes and what I have done so far has had no effect on H. And sitch with OW is very strong for him. When I have dark, negative moments, I think about H and how happy and simple his life must be now. I had a specially rough weekend with the negative thoughts - all of them in the same line of thought as you have expressed.
But fortunately, I have not let my actions reflect my state of mind. I realize that sometimes the pain will be so intense that I need to acknowledge it and allow myself to feel it, but not act on it. And that is what I have been doing the last couple of days. I continue to get busy and act AS IF, despite of my depressed state and at least I got that going for me.
M422, Thank you as well for your recent posts. They have helped a lot to bring perspective to the sitch. You are right, most likely not everything is rosy in spouse's life. I also appreciate you sharing your story. It again proves what works and what doesn't. Knowing that your H came around way after your D also gives me hope.
It's such a gloomy and rainy day where I live, that both your posts have really helped.
thanks again.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
