Peicing and hoping I'm doing the right thing.

[FreeBird0120]

Hi MZ:
Sorry I haven't been on here lately. I'm doing okay. Just taking it day by day. Trying to deal with the triggers as they come, and boy does it seem like they've been coming every second sometimes.

Still wondering if H is talking to OW on their work phones, but this I will never know for sure. H claims to be focused on us and that he's happy with his decision, but something in my gut is telling me different. I'm just not sure if this is a "true" gut feeling, or if it's just my paranoia from all of the past lies I've come across with the sitch the last 6 months.

I also feel like I can't get away from any of it. I think about it all day, and then dream about it all night, and the dreams are so vivid and real. I hate it...

I bought an audio book called "After the Affair" that the both of us are supposed to listen to together. It's supposed to help us heal, but I'm afraid to bring it up to him. I know I shouldn't be, but I feel like every time the A is brought up I push him further away...

Enough about me though...how are you MZ?? Hope you're doing well and the holiday season has been treating you well...

HUGS!!

FB