Thanks. I do realize he is using me, but I am hoping that one day the alien will leave his body and he will want his family back. I am hoping that he feels the connection with me every time we do ML.
I must say I feel same exact way, and wish W and I had opportunity to ML, thinking that would reestablish a connection. But the reality of it is I don't think a true connection can be made that easy. Sure a connection is probably made for them, but only for that moment when you are ML. I think it takes a lot more than ML to reach our WAS, and that is why so many people here on the boards advise against ML.
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
I agree 1978... I know even the other day when I asked my W about sex even I wasn't feeling a connection. The two times we have I didn't really feel one either. Don't get me wrong, the physical part was great, but there wasn't a connection. In some ways it was almost more emotionally painful since there wasn't one.
If my W asked me today for us to ML... I honestly don't know what I'd say, but I think I would say no. Especially now, especially how I feel now. Even though I'm a wreck currently I don't think adding that element would make things better.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
I sent H a text message asking him if he wanted my help tonight with our D. He text back and said that he was in a meeting and let me know later. He called me at 4:45 and asked if I wanted to him at his apartment and we can pick our D up from daycare together and then go out for dinner. I said sure and I will see you in a few minutes. Off we go to pick our D up from daycare. When we arrived, I asked if he wanted me to stay in the car. The reason why I asked him was because they all know that we are separated. He told me he wanted me to go in with him. So I did. Boy, did everyone look at us.
Then off to dinner we go. Had a very dinner. Then went back to his apartment. I told him that I had to run to place to do a few things and our D wanted to go. So we all went back to my place for about an hour. I took them back to his place and we read a bedtime story to our D and she feel asleep. Then, we had sex. After sex, he looked at me and said "I hate you" and I replied back, "yes I know, but I hate you too." We just laughed.
I am having surgery this Thursday and he told me that he wanted to take me and stay until everything is okay. That was a surprise to me because I was not expecting that.
Also, he told me he wanted me to spend Christmas Eve at his place so we can wake up with our D on Christmas morning. I told him that I could do that.
So, it was a pretty good night. But I am keeping myself grounded. Expect nothing and if I get something, then that is a bonus.
Hi everyone! Need to update you here. I had surgery on the 15th of December, which everything turned out fine. Well, My H wanted to come and support me. He picked my D and myself up at 6:15 and we dropped her off at daycare and then off to the hospital. I tried to stay detach from him and pretend we are friends. But the truth is, I am so happy that he was there for me. We did do some talking. He was the one that initiate them. Well, when I was being rolled to the operating room, he gave me a kiss and said "I LOVE YOU". That took me by surprise. I didn't even respond back. I was in shock. So, I figured after surgery was over, he would take it back. But he didnt. Did he say it because he thought something may happen to me or did some feeling escape from him? Now he is back being cold and distant from me.
Feeling down and lonely today. Will be out of work for the next 3 wks which, I am looking forward for the time off. I am feeling more detached from my H today than before. I wish I had some kind of hope of us getting back together. Any advice would be appreciated.
He probably said it because he does. The cold and distant is their defense mechanism to keep justifying their behavior. I am glad everything went well. Take care of yourself and keep improving and leave the results up to God.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
