Doing the "Friends" Route Pt 2...

[Abbey]

Says to me last night,... did you see anything you liked? (house wise). I said, no I'm still going towards a model that would have to be built.

H: Yes, I like that one best too. That's ok, if we sell this house quickly, we can move into the other house (an investment property) until it's ready. Round and round. He's still in this mode that we are all going to be hunky dorey and that we're going to be best friends and all is well in his little world. We're going to go on dates, even "secret dates". Not going to happen, but quite interesting that every time I pull back, he comes forward.

I guess for me, what I have to decide once I get the hell out of here (and it does sell, or he buys me out) is how far I pull back, how quickly and all that.

I'm still torn, I love him, and YES He's an idiot right now. In my heart I know this won't last with her... and this IS very much part two of what never got finished as we were trying to get back together. I honestly did expect this within the first few months after his daughter was born.

Will I want him after all this? I dunno. I really don't. I don't know if I want him now half the time. I know like others have said on the forum, I don't know if he'll ever DO the work he needs to do in order to fix what he's done to us and make amends to me and the marriage. That IS a lynch pin for many of us.

I know that we get this stupid separation anxiety when we're apart. We get drawn together, when we're together. The whole thing is so screwy.

Abbey