Separated But Living Under the Same Roof

[2thepoint]

I saw your post on my thread and thought I'd offer my perspective on yours.

First, I would take your W's interest in initiating a discussion about your R as a positive. Her comment "whatever happens with us..." is actually a plus since she at least isn't talking about "after we are D...". So, it seems like whatever you are doing in terms of focusing on yourself is starting to surface in your W's comments.

Early on in my sitch, I started to do a ton of serious 180's and my W seemed to get angry because like your W she didn't understand why it took so long for me to "get it". From my perspective, the fact that I finally got it, should have been worth something, and maybe it is, but it is probably only going to pay dividends much like a Certificate of Deposit. Make your deposit now (invest in yourself/changes) and wait for the CD to reach maturity before you cash out.

That your W is now inviting you to family outings is a real plus! It's good for you and good for the rebuilding of your R with your W. Just know that none of this is going to come easy or fast.

I think you saw what Busto posted on my thread about trust. Just keep that in mind since your W is unsure if she can trust that you will not revert back to the old James that drove her away in the first place. This is where you will have to solidify your changes so that you don't fall back.

Hang on, keep your focus, keep working on your changes, keep your GAL going strong, be there only when your W needs you. And then, maybe after much time has passed, things will start to turn in the favor of your R. Just remember, it is your W that must initiate these R discussions and validate like crazy just like you are doing.

I wish you all the best, James!