Doing the "Friends" Route Pt 2...

[Abbey]

The legal separation agreement from last time is already in place. Divorce lawyer is someone hard hitting, if I choose to go this route. But I'll use it as a last resort,...as I have no interest in alimony. The house asset is the only thing we'll have to divide and our laws no matter what divide that asset as 50 50.

So he comes home and tells me the OW wanted to come into MY house, bring the child... and expected me to leave. Yeah... I'm not kidding. H said, no, that's not going to happen.

The woman is a nut job, and frankly I am afraid for my safety and the safety of my critters. So at 5 am this morning, I woke him up, ... and we talked about it. He won't let her come here. He admitted to me that he doesn't love her as much as he thought he did. And has fallen back in love with me. He's torn, he says. Except for the one focus - his daughter. He also made it clear that this is hard enough on me, and he has NO intention of bringing her to this house. This is my safe place. He made it clear to me that he has no intentions of having that happen. If that is breached, then the claws and the lawyer comes out.

What's particularly interesting is his comments to me: I'm in love with you and that I (he) didn't expect that to happen.

I said, that you realize that I have already become attached to your daughter. H: I'm glad about that. Really glad about that.

He made comments about living in a duplex again, makes comments about he going after full custody of daughter. Makes comments about us raising her together, but then he falls back to: I can't make any promises.

He knows I want out,... and the sooner the better. I NEED to be out of here, and just now we had another tearful exchange where he tells me he loves me, and he has a window to "do things" and that he has to do that. He's frustrated that his "way" isn't panning out the way he wanted it to. He still falls back to the default of us being together (but he can't promise anything) because he NEVER wants to be without me. (Even though he keeps saying he thinks I'll move on away from him once I'm on my own.) Then the next thing out of his mouth is: But I can see us doing the midnight runs where you keep me up half the night.

I said, you have this ability to convince yourself of crap that simply isn't true. You thought I wasn't ready to have daughter in our lives. You were wrong about that... He said yes. So I said, You do NOT have to raise her alone.

What's abundantly obvious is that he's at that spot he was the last time where I PUSHED him to get rid of OW, and he tried but failed. We broke up for a week and a half, I went black, and he came right back to me. I had to stay dim until he was ready.

I'm confused guys. I'm really, really, really confused right now. I know I need to let this play out. I WANT out of here. I KNOW that she is going to make his life a living hell - she's already starting (all of which I knew from the day this came into focus.) And I'm not sure what I will feel like once I'm out of here other than relief. If I choose to hold on, I have a good chance of this playing out as I suspect it will. I just know know if I can hold on that long. Or that if I have to stay here too long before being able to move out... if there'll be any love left in me.

Abbey