"One thing I had done during the day was left a white rose in a small vase for her. Don't know if she has seen it. We have been living in separate rooms since the bomb drop and I left it in the room she is staying in. I'm not sure if this is an anti DB move or not in terms of whether that is pursuing but I just did it for her without any expectation of a return. These little things make her happy but I'm not sure if it adds pressure."
^^^^^see red hi-lights above^^^^^
"So, I feel like today has been a great day for me DB'ing...."
...except for that obvious form of pursuit with the White Rose. You've got to stop that! It undermines everything else you are doing.
OK 2TP - I guess the devil is in the details of DB'ing!
I did go to the party and had a great time. W asked me how it was and I said it was really good, and that my S and fiance had a great time too. No details, just that and then radio silence. DB'ing by creating mystery. I went with the attitude that I deserve to be happy, and that yes while I have things to work on improving myself, I have a life ahead of me which I deserve to enjoy.
BTW, the W is really in a down phase in her psyche treatments. The psycristrist wants her to be in some psychoanalysis program that she would see him much more frequently, perhaps every day. With that, I can't tell you how much she is all over the place emotionally. My DB'ing is creating all sorts of responses in her. And yet, I just have to let her go, silently be here for her without blowing the DB program. It's so hard. Her emotions run the entire spectrum just in one sentence from her. She's is an excorcist/depressed state this morning. I don't say that to demean her. She is really that bad off, and I have to DB while wanting to jump in and just HELP her. This is so tough!!!!
