Has been a bit of a rough weekend emotionally, doing my best.
Last night H got very drunk, was a complete mess. It was less than attractive. He asked me to stop over at neighbors house with him. I didn't realize what type of shape he was in until we were already at neighbors. They were looking at me over his head and shrugging their shoulders, as if to say "what is he thinking". I just shrugged back.
I got up to go out for a cigarette (stress does that to me), and he said "i told you i'm fine" so I said "good to hear, but I simply said that I was stepping outside"
Even neighbor said "he is having his own conversations"
I was getting up to leave and he said "you need to take me home"
Needless to say he went right to bed, which I was thankful for since the kids were here.
This wasn't a first sadly. It just seems to be getting so much worse. drinking more often and much heavier.
I woke up early this morning partially due to his snoring and thought to myself "this is not fun, not attractive and no way to live" As if this isn't hard enough, we can add a drinking issue to it as well. Perfect!
The kids had a friend sleepover last night so they are all going to sleep late I can imagine. I just did a search and I am going to get dressed and try out a new church this morning.
Then this afternoon I plan to invite my boys to go bowling with me. I know he will be hungover on the couch all day and I will not sit here and watch that. I want to have a nice day with my boys.
It was very nice that my neighbors noticed my weight loss last night, thanks to GAL and probably stress, I have lost some weight. They were telling me that I looked great and they were so excited for me. H stared at the TV and said nothing until the conversation changed. Not surprised but it still hurt.
I am officially living with an alien, and I am counting the hours until my call with the DB coach tomorrow.
