Hey Country, nine, and islander...Glad to hear you all are doing ok. We really should plan a weekend in some central city to meet and paint the town red sometime. Where is this alternative place you all are talking with each other???
Nice to hear from you Gritter! I will go check out your thread on MLC. I hope that things are well with you.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I think I'm going to actually start a thread of my own since people confuse my story with others or they ask for stuff from my story, and that hijacks.
But when I sat down to write it, it made me feel like I was backsliding just by doing the whole "story time & review"...
I want to stay in the present, looking forward. But I guess it helps newcomers to know we really DID feel as bad as most of them did, at one point or another, and sometimes for a LONG while.
And then we got better, as did our lives, etc.
I will do it SOON!!
Take care of yourselves this month especially.
Be open to miracles, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I actually started reading your thread awhile back... You always push me to think about my w's feelings and I wondered if you were always that way with your H or if that is something that grew from your changes.
Maybe you could just link your old story on a new thread (since it's hard to find) and allow people to read and digest at their own pace? Maybe ask some questions....
.... Like how did you stay so d@mn patient for three years?!?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
sometimes I give much better advice than I practice
It's one thing to "get it" and quite another to DO IT...let alone consistently.
But what helped me was that I knew limbo would not last forever b/c I had a timeline in mind from the get go, once h had left. So I knew that worst case, it'd be two years of the weirdness and then I would end it, (unless I changed my mind, which I reserve the right to do).
I figured if we were able to pay our bills (notwithstanding the loss of our savings) sufficiently,
for 2 years, I could get my older d through high school without a move, which was HER biggest concern. That would also give my younger d 2 years of adjusting time, and they were always my priority.
Demonstrating the line between self respect and false pride for my d's, was not easy but it was a goal, as a mother. That goal gave me clarity, and the DB coaching and great mc I had, helped me know where that line was, more or less. It's a shifting line sometimes.
but at the end of that two year period
h had started to awaken. And act on his own, back towards us.
Funny, I was SO CLOSE to being done for good, that it took some real effort on his end to overcome my own trajectory away.
I'll suggest they look to the old thread but the reality is that how I see things NOW is probably very different than I did then.
thanks for the suggestion though. If I can figure it out, I may do that.
((( )))
SORRY FOR THE HIJACK!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Be open to miracles, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
That's awesome.
25 is full of them.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Be open to miracles, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
That's awesome.
25 is full of them.
SO TRUE!!!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hey 25! I spent some time reading your old threads. Several other folks too, actually. If I see comments that make sense to me I read all that I can by that person.
I am struggling, can't wrap my brain around a few more years of this. I am glad you made it through.
You are an inspiration. Thanks for taking the time to post!
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!