too much time and distance

[any chance?]

Thanks V. You have wise insight. There is no doubt that I want to take care of and help my W get through this very rough spot in her life. Is she running from me and her problems? Absolutely. Will she ever get through this and want to reestablish contact with me? Highly doubtful. I think I remind her of the last couple of difficult years, and that all the good that we have had is gone, never to be revisited or thought of again. Very sad way to eradicate 20 years out of our lives.

I do need to take care of myself. Self medicating and a clearly looming depression on my end is not the way to go. I need to GAL more and take care of myself. I have been supporting her fully for months and months, emotionally and financially, and have undoubtedly been enabling her. She apparently has her cake and is eating it too.

Going in front of the judge yesterday was sobering and depressing. W needs the D to be able to move on, she says, so she shall have it. Will send her the paperwork this week.

Sad as it is, I need to just realize she is gone and not coming back, and that I mean nothing to her. Hard to accept, but accept I must. No other choice.