Painful. I also had a negative reaction to our third pregnancy which was a surprise. My W unilaterally decided to stop taking birth control, told me she could keep track of when she was ovulating, and we got pregnant. She has never forgiven me for the fact that my initial response wasn't 100% supportive.
My W also told me while she was torching me that she wanted me to be happy. Here's where that's coming from: she feels guilty that her actions are making you unhappy and she wants to be free from that. It's not about you, it's about her. She really doesn't care if you're happy, she doesn't want to feel responsible for your unhappiness. You can give her that -- that's what detach and act as if are all about. Once she is free of that, she's free to look at you again without a black cloud over your head
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
