2nd Thread - After almost 1 year, I keep going

[keep_going]

Finances...

H called this morning to tell me that the short sale of our town home was approved. We bought our dream home and moved into a week before he left last year. The idea was to immediately sell the town home where we used to live, but H moved back there and we then procrastinated on the sale for 6 months...By the time we put it on the market, we were underwater...)

So now he now has a month to find a place to live. He told me he is renting back the town home from the new owners for 2k a month, which is what he had budgeted for rent for a new place for him...
I am not working right now and with his salary alone, we can barely pay the mortgage of the new house.

So reality is here. I knew from the beginning that if we didn't reconcile, there was no way we could keep this house and now the time has come. I wasn't able to convince him to come back in this past year, so we'll now lose our house as well.

I am sad, but not necessarily for the financial aspect. Sometimes I do get apprehensive and a bit scared about my financial future. But then I remind myself that I will make it no matter what. I have a career, I am well-respected in my field and if I needed to, I could find a job (with long hours) fairly quickly. I don't want this, but it's a possibility.

I am also not afraid to give up on my current lifestyle. I can adapt to that as well - we all can...
My main goal for trying to hold on to the house w/o H, was to stay in this school district - one of the best in the country...But even that is now just a bonus.

The pain I feel comes from the fact that this house represented all the hard work we both put in during 13 years of marriage. We started with nothing, actually with lots of debts and as a team, we got here - to where we could afford our dream home for our dream family... Except that we lost our M on the way there...

So in the end, we'll end without the dream home / life, and without the marriage. Ironic that I always saw my hard work was a way of showing my love and dedication to my H and family - he never say it this way and that was one of my big mistakes.

And now that I am a single mom, I will give up a 20-year career because of the time demands. I am choosing to walk away from it to be with my kids - they need me and come first. That decision is a no-brainer...
It just hurts to be in this position in the first place, without my H. So I am grieving this loss tonight and tomorrow morning, I will choose to move on and start looking for rentals in the area, to see if I can manage to stay in the school district.