H took my son to buy me a gift

[25yearsmlc]

First - Yes Bond has been with you through some bad times and that was years ago. Other posters moved on. Let's not forget that. And rysm, you threw some cheap and unfair/inaccurate shots at him re: his wife. It sure looked like it was done to hurt him.

Did you learn anything from that interaction? Was it at all like your interactions with your h when he left the 2nd time?

Now Second, your h is helping you get a decent deal on a car, right?

Okay, is there a question in there? I was not sure.

I don't see it as "manipulation". But since we know he'd have to pay you more money and on a regular basis, if you were divorced then it's not quite the grand gesture of "love" we might wish it were. That financial part is what your L's have said.

Plus, you'd be getting half the assets NOW before they are depleted b/c you say he spends a lot with and on OW...

So it benefits him to buy you a car that keeps your costs down. And I'm sure as VC says, he has some good feelings towards you. I think his "happy" attitude around you is b/c he's trying not to snap at you.

If you want independence AND financial security, your L's have repeatedly told you what is needed. So that's not in question...but

My question is what do you want at this point?


Is it simply a decent R with your xh so you two can discuss things like the parents of a young man do,

or a fully detached r in which you are NOT dependent on him for anything and thus, when he gives you something, it's a gift, not a substitute for support.

yes---I realize you wantED a reconciliation and I understand that. Totally. But I see that you are also trying to adapt to what is.


And you've also indicated that with him as he is now, you are Not interested in a reconciliation. Is this accurate?

IOW, assuming your h is as he is now, for good, you would rather move on and meet someone else with whom you have more in common?

we can go from there.

My h i suddenly being very nice. he is going to give me some $ to buy a used car, he went a half hr away the other day to look at it for me and now is arranging funds with bank. i appreciate what he does but could be manipulation as usual.
Is there a way someone can read you text messages. if im on his acct, its an iphone.?