What do I do next? Part 2

[luvhurts49]

More on our long texting session the other day. One commonality that I noticed is not only is my W blaming me for things, but some things are from 5, 8, 12, or more years ago.

She stated things like how we shouldn't have gotten back together (6 years ago), should never have bought a house (5 years ago), should never have gotten married (4 years ago), how she felt like she has been living alone for 4 years, etc.

She blames me for my reaction when she got pregnant with our first child (unexpected). I'm sorry, I was young and stupid--not that is an excuse, but just the truth. I'm extremely grateful for the decision she made at that time and I was nothing but supportive during that entire time and have apologized for my reaction many, many times since. There is nothing I regret about being a dad except for my initial reaction and I've done everything that I could to try and make that up to her for the last 13 years.

Now when she got pregnant with our second child, again unexpected, she asked me what she should do. I simply told her (not wanting to make the same mistake as last time), that she has been a terrific mother and I would support any decision that she made. Of course, she took it completely different than the way I meant it and haven't heard the end of it since. Again, this has been thrown in my face for the last 4 months too.

One thing that really burns by backside is she keeps telling me that she wants me to be happy. Well hello, get your butt back into this M and start acting like my W again--that'll make me happy.

Sometimes you just have to learn to forgive someone for the mistakes they make. I've forgiven my W for many things in our past and I could even forgive her for our recent situation and the resulting OM. I just don't understand how someone so loving and caring can't seem to forgive me for my mistakes. I've always been there for her and everything I have done and do is for her and our kids. You would think that after all these years, I would be allowed some forgiveness. I'm not expecting for her to forget, but to eventually forgive would have been nice.