He realized that he had never really forgiven his W and the anger and bitterness had been eating away at him for a long time.
After that session he resigned himself to forgive her for her actions and try to work towards a better relationship with his X. One day when he was visiting his son at his W's house, he said hello and shook his W's hand.
You would have thought by her reaction that he had just handed hr a million bucks! That simple act of courtesy has undone years of animosity that had been festering between them. That simple courageous act has put them both on a path to a better relationship and they are much better parents as a result.
Thanks 2TP...I also believe that it's all about timing as well. Forgiving/practicing As-If were things I did and have been doing for over a year since my wife left the house. In that time she's remained apathetic and passive, especially to parenting. If it's one thing I'm upset about nowadays is her downplaying the importance of me as a father:
- She has not respected my requests for equal time with our son (because she imagines that once divorced, she will have full custody, take our son to the East Coast and have very little contact with me anyway). - She has not demonstrated proactivity as a co-parent.
So yes, I'm upset. Not because I'm bitter or hold a grudge, but more because she's putting more of her effort in working her way to be free of me, rather seeing our son's needs to have equal time with his parents.
