I am managing one day at a time, sometimes only one hour at a time, thanks for asking , it really helped my PMA!
Sorry about not starting a thread in MLC yet, but I have been a tad busy. I did spend some time at amazon ordering books on H's MLC last week. They should arrive this week. Boy, do I have some reading to do .
Don't worry, I don't plan on contacting BMOW's H any time soon, if at all. My gut feelings are telling me no and I am trying to learn to pay attention to them!
Interestingly, as I have been and still am the withdrawn one (working on that) in our R and he was the fixer, I decided to try a 180 on him this week to test out that DR technique and his response. He has been in contact with me everyday since last Tuesday! Before my 180 (I contacted him and asked him how he was doing instead of vice-versa), he contacted me once every week or two, and I had only contacted him once, maybe twice, since moving out. Also I have eliminated all sad, crying and attacking behavior in his presence. As far as he is concerned, I am a happy girl just getting on with my life. What BMOW? There is a BMOW?
On Saturday, he had to take his kids back to the airport and he invited me to go. Since I hadn't gotten to see the kids yet this visit and the ride to the airport is almost two hours, I accepted his invite so that I could show everyone that I am happy and doing ok. The kids actually appeared happy to see me! I chatted with them and had a nice drive there. They wanted hugs before boarding their planes and asked about spending some time with me this summer. All in all it was very positive. H didn't say too much. I think his kids are realizing that the crux of the problem may be with their Dad!
In my convo with the kids, I learned that H put up a Christmas tree, but didn't decorate it . I think it had two ornaments on it that he got as gifts this year!! I learned that H did very little to nothing in preparing the house for their visit, ie, no clean bathroom, no clean sheets on bed, no clean house. H's response: not enough time . Also some friend had given H some used living room furniture to replace what I had taken when I moved out and I learned that the furniture smelled really stinky from wherever it came from. The comment got back to me that his house now looks and smells very much like a bachelor pad. . Not too conducive for children visiting.
His biggest concern used to be that the house should not change for his kid's sake, so that it would cut down on any trauma from his first divorce when they visited. I am afraid that they were shell-shocked this visit, but did really well in keeping their true feelings to themselves. I don't know how healthy that would be for them to do, or continue doing, but it was their response this visit. They most likely let loose with everything to their mom (his first W) when they got home. I am curious if she will contact H (they are on speaking terms) to find out what's up!
Anyway, I will start my MLC thread soon. Keep watching for it!
Happy New Year to Everyone!
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
, it really helped my PMA!
.
. I think it had two ornaments on it that he got as gifts this year!! I learned that H did very little to nothing in preparing the house for their visit, ie, no clean bathroom, no clean sheets on bed, no clean house. H's response: not enough time 
. Also some friend had given H some used living room furniture to replace what I had taken when I moved out and I learned that the furniture smelled really stinky from wherever it came from. The comment got back to me that his house now looks and smells very much like a bachelor pad. 
. Not too conducive for children visiting. 
