"Why is it okay for her to try and take our kids away from me when I love and care for them just as much as her?"
It is not okay for her to do that. No one would say that is okay unless you are putting them in danger, which you clearly are not.
I *think* this is where your W is coming from. Sharing custody means that you stay in her life and she sees you regularly. She feels guilty and badly for what has happened, and every time she sees you and interacts with you, she has to face herself and what she has done -- and that is not pleasant.
Therefore, she has come to convince herself that if she can minimize your custody, she can minimize her interactions with you, and therefore minimize those painful reminders and reflections on what she has done.
Remember too that to feel better about what she has done, she has to make you "the bad guy", even though you are not. She has convinced herself that you are the bad one in this relationship, and that colors how she thinks about custody.
The "you're trying to take them away from me" is just crazy rationalization for her actions. If you really were trying to take them away, then she would be justified in trying to keep them for herself. She's painting you that way to reflect her actions in a more positive light.
It doesn't have to do with you, she is "crazy making". Keep being the good father you take pride in being, protect yourself per Mach 1, and have faith that the custody will work out. The things your W is saying now are "just noise" and can be ignored, or let your L deal with it.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
