Rick you just admitted that you challanged her to get a divorce. Maybe more than once. WE here know you didn't mean it. Does she?
I did challenge her more than once. I ashamed to say it but I did. I don't think I ever used the D word but I did says things like "I want out", "you should leave". I do believe she knows I do not want that. I have explained to her why I said that before and I have discussed with her how I understand her journey and will be here for her and am working on improving myself. Our conversdations have grown to be so much calmer and our communication is so much better.
Yesterday she was telling me how she has been so sad for the past couple of days and near tears. One thing about her is she gets this whenever the winter starts to set in. I suggested she may want to take her sister's offer up on visitng her in FL. This morning she asked me if that meant I was trying to get her to leave as in a separation. I calmly assured her that I really meant it only for her benefit, a chance to get away from it all and enjoy some sun and warmth. A very calm sweet discusion, no stress between us. I'm starting to see her try and reconnect to her friends. I take it as a good sign for her. I am noting these changes but not being ruled by them. I am working on me, am there for her where I can be, hoping the best for her, and if the M gods deem it then maybe we can R in a better way.
How's your work on you going Rick? I like the DB moves and growth you are experiencing. Try not to obsess so much about OMs...
My work on me is going well. I really needed the 2" * 4" BTW. Those were the most important conversations I have ever had. I feel something clicking all around I am starting to see through the fog of my emotions. I need to keep practicing slowing down my natural response time in responses to her because I still have bad communication habits with her. So the pause helps me apply what I am learning through the DB bootcamp. Working on evolving in communication with all and evolving.
I have somehow broken through my obsession with the OM. I hope! I have stopped stalking the phone logs to see how much they talk, have stopped eavesdropping on her calls with him. I feel this is good for my much needed personal growth but I really don't know how I would react if I saw them together. His distance from us makes that unilkely, however it is my cousin so someday this bridge is going to have to be crossed. I realize he is the symptom of my M troubles, understand how my W ended up in this and understand my role in this.
Don't sell yourself short.
Ha-ha. You know I actually would make a great partner for a woman, I just forgot who I am for a while. The bomb really knocked me down and out for a time. Nonetheless, I see areas I need improvement in and come to think of it I should thank my W for that.
Great to hear this from a woman's perspective!
When you operate in fear, you are NOT operating in faith
Yes! Odd that I give that same advise to others but had to learn this in this sitch. Still working on this daily!
