Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[MynameisMZ]

NB, that was a really good link. Puts it right there! And if you can hang in there long enough for the A to run its course, then you are all that much better off.

Years ago I read an article by Dr. Joyce Brothers (before I was married) and she was writing about A s. She advised that if at all possible, do not let your H know you know and let it run its course. She stated that most end in 9 weeks.

So in Dec of 2009 when I had suspicions and told myself I was being paranoid, I remembered the article. I was not happy myself with H and how he was behaving towards me and the family. I actually wanted out and so I was not invested. I actually remember thinking, "If he is having an A, I don't want to know about it and I'll let it run its course." SO I did until end of May when I got it that I had to take some action.

Of course, really waking up and realizing it was really happening was a different story. The pain from the lies, deceit and betrayal are tough to bear. It's not so much about sex as it is consciously harming the ones you love. That has been hard for me to understand.

You and Abbey are where I was 18 months ago. I applaud and support how you are both handling this.

Hopefully in time your sitchs will resolve and either you will choose to move on or choose to piece. Just MHO and FWIW- It's harder in the piecing phase I think because you have to do the really hard work of heavy lifting and making the behavioral changes in yourself and hope to God that you H does the work in himself.

As you may know, I had a bit of a back slide this past week, but I'm back to my DB plan and brushing up again. I'm posting in Staying Solution Focused now. C'mon over if you want.