Hello, I'm a WAW, but only because H has OW

[trustinginHim]

Hi Kim,

I have been checking out the MLC forum and think that is where I need to be for my situation. I will start a new thread there soon.

Having BMOW at the house when his family was there WAS rather tactless wasn't it! I am no longer surprised though by his odd behavior since I have learned it is normal for MLC sufferers. All this time I have been going crazy wanting to know why my H was acting so strangely and it turns out he has turned into an alien pod person from the MLC! I have such relief now knowing his behavior is "normal"!!

I would love to contact BMOW's H and spill the beans, but I really don't know what medium would be best, ie., email (don't know his address anyway), snail mail (do know that address), telephone (do know the number to their house, but BMOW screens calls and does all phone answering) and I don't know yet what that might accomplish at this stage. If no one is thinking about the welfare of BMOW's two very young kids right now, then I guess I will be the adult here and think of how revelation of the A would affect them at this point, and I don't think now is the right time. It would just be self-serving for me, and it would push my H farther away from me than he already is right now.

I suspect that BMOW's H already knows about the A, but he seems to be such a wimp anyway, he may not really care. BMOW wears the pants in their family, if you catch my drift. And if he doesn't know yet, I bet he suspects something is up, which is what I did for months before I found out. He may not care anyway because he may have a R with OW himself on the side too, who knows! I think anything is possible now.

I asked my H once how BMOW's H felt about their affair just after I found out, and he said BMOW's H didn't know about it. I said maybe he needed to as his life was involved also. My H said in response that even if I was successful in contacting BMOW's H in any way, he would NOT listen to me or believe what I said because he thinks I am insane! If BMOW's H really thought that I was insane, then that means that my H and BMOW caused him to think that because I have spent only three times in his presence many months ago and as far as I can remember, I acted extremely normal. Thanks H, such loyalty!

If somehow my M survives and H gives up BMOW, and BMOW acts crazy (harrassment of me or H in any way) as a result trying to get my H back, then I think her H will definitely need to be informed so that he can intervene (or run, his choice)! What happens to BMOW's marriage once her H is informed, if he is ever informed or finds out the truth on his own, is for them to deal with. I would just feel so badly for their kids because they are so little.

On the other hand, if my H and BMOW ride off into the sunset together, her H will most definitely find out about the A.

Look for me over in the MLC forum as I begin my journey on the MLC train!! Well, I am off to research MLC.

LG