The FB pages are torture aren't they? Maybe I haven't made this clear on this forum, but it's something I've discussed with my IC and my DB coach. She blocked me on FB a few months ago. It started out with her saying that she didn't like seeing thyings I was posting about me going here or there without her. Anyway, now I probably realize that she was talking to the OM before she told me it was over with us. Anyway, the way I can see her page is to login through a page she made for one of our dogs some time ago and has long since forgotten about. So, she doesn't even know I can see it. It has really become sort of an obsession with me I guess and I check it all day long. I analyze and read things into both what she does post and what she doesn't post. For example, if she goes a few days without a post from OM then I think maybe they're having trouble or something. Yesterday was the opposite. Anyway, I've got to stop looking at it. I have a friend who is going to allow me to give her the password to the dog's page and then she will change it so I can't see it any longer. She's going to monitor it for me for important information like a break up or engagement, etc. I've resisted it for quite some time but in talking to my IC yesterday we finally decided I have to pull the plug on it. It's going to be very hard for me to let go of that last form of "contact." It's funny b/c usually after a good conversation with me, she will post how much she loves him or something on there. And it really hurt to see her post how she was finally happy and that she had not been so for several years. It hurts to know I caused her such pain and unhappiness.
Today is starting out a little better I guess. Most of the morning I've just been angry at her which is all the more reason to cut off contact for a while. I'm hoping all of this means that I just moved a little to fast for her and it's not that she's actually moved on and doesn't want to deal with me anymore. But if that was the case, why would she still talk to me when we text each other?
