My H and I have no kids of our own. He used to tell me early in our relationship that we would make beautiful children together whenever I was ready to start. I just needed to let him know when I was ready, but in the meantime we could "practice" lots making babies. I have never been real adamant about having kids of my own, but when the biological clock got to me at about age 35 or so I seriously thought about it and approached him. By this time however, he had changed his mind. So such is my fate. I am told that in my situation, not having kids involved is a good thing, even if it would force us to interact. So I am thankful there are no kids of our own.
Yes the BMOW is still married. It's the second time for her also, I understand. I can't get a read on her R with her H though from my husband, mostly I think because he wants to protect her from me. Apparently BMOW's R with her H is not a happy one either just due to the fact that she is involved with my H. I just don't know if she wants to work on her marriage, even for the sake of her kiddos. Either my husband wants to leave me with the impression, or it is true, I don't know, but I think if my husband asked her to ride off into the sunset with him and start all over (she would have to leave her kids with her H) she would jump on it!
As soon as I learned about the affair, I went to amazon.com and spent hundreds of $$ on all the books that I could find on affairs and relationships that appealed to me. I had boxes of books arriving for weeks! Of course, I had gotten DB and DR. I spend most of my free time outside of my job reading and journaling and thinking. Last night I finally got to the chapter in DR that discusses dealing with your H's midlife crisis. I almost skipped over it thinking it was an unnecessary read at this time, but I started reading it anyway and lo and behold, I think I have an answer to the EA/PA!!!!! My husband is having an MLC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so glad I read that chapter! Now I have something to work with, so now it's back to amazon.com to look up books on the male MLC!! Michele could have been interviewing my husband when she wrote that chapter! My H leaped off the page at me and I was so relieved to learn what I am dealing with. I just never would have thought this of him!
Thank you for your concern about keeping myself happy. I am busier now than I have ever been in my life! I work full-time so that helps tremendously. I am a new Christian (I was baptized Dec. 21st!!) and involvement in my church and learning about the Lord and reading his Word takes a lot of my time, plus the support I am receiving from the church has been a tremendous help and comfort to me. Today is starting off as a high PMA day. Can you tell?
Well, I am off to face the day and what it brings. I will update later on the joint session that I had with H yesterday. I get an individual session today and you can bet we will be exploring the MLC!
Happy New Year's Eve and Hugs to all!!
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
I have never been real adamant about having kids of my own, but when the biological clock got to me at about age 35 or so I seriously thought about it and approached him. By this time however, he had changed his mind. So such is my fate. I am told that in my situation, not having kids involved is a good thing, even if it would force us to interact. So I am thankful there are no kids of our own. 
Michele could have been interviewing my husband when she wrote that chapter! My H leaped off the page at me and I was so relieved to learn what I am dealing with. I just never would have thought this of him!
