JB my W since this started has been sleeping later. This morning I saw her struggling to get my D14 up. I wake my D every Wednesday and she rarelly gives me a hard time. My W has always allow my D to set the rules and it is coming back to bite her. I was going to help but since she thinks that I am too strick, oh well.
I hate the cold weather.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Nice work jb, she needs to have a reality check every now and then.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Nice! I should really try this. I keep lending W money, even though one of the reasons she left me was because I wouldn't let her control her own money. Apparently if she could "control" her money she wouldn't need to be borrowing from me. I think our natural instinct is "W is in danger, I will save you!"
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
yes, that 'savior' mentality is something I've noticed is rampant here on the board and one of my W's complaints also. JB has a handle on DBing like a pro and i watch his moves to see how a pro reacts/or well, acts.
If they don't get a reality check, and WAS are allowed to keep hanging on to LBS for money, emotional support, etc... why change their path? Cake eating defined.
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
I think it may be a by product of feeling a little more detached and ambivalent the last couple of days. Also, my W has not really given me any intimation that she wants anything other than a D. If we're D'd, I am going to be less inclined to help her out because I've moved on. I might as well show her that now. If she decides to change course, great. If she doesn't, I'm well prepared to move forward. Besides, helping her out doesn't really seem to be bringing her closer.
My W stopped by tonight to pick up my S for the night. There was no mention of this morning. We had a fairly pleasant exchange tonight. Again right now I've been in this ambivalent place for a couple days now, so I wasn't too worried about it.
I've been thinking tonight that I feel like I have this ability to be in a healthy relationship like I've always wanted now, whether that's with my W or with someone else. I have learned SO much over the last few years and especially over the last 10 months. I feel like I really know what I want, too. It's not it was when I was 26 when I got M'd. At the moment, the future's looking bright, no matter what happens.
My GAL'ing tonight consisted of Men's group at my church. We had another good meeting. After I got home, I went out in the 31 degree cold and ran 3 miles and followed it up with a 9 mile bike ride - so I had a doubleheader.
I've been thinking tonight that I feel like I have this ability to be in a healthy relationship like I've always wanted now, whether that's with my W or with someone else. I have learned SO much over the last few years and especially over the last 10 months. I feel like I really know what I want, too. It's not it was when I was 26 when I got M'd. At the moment, the future's looking bright, no matter what happens.
I just started posting here but have been following your sitch, great work you're doing. Your son is so blessed.
After 9, almost 10 months, I am getting to same place. What a relief, huh? But the most important healthy relationship I'm working on is the one with me!
I think I first clicked on your story because of the 'nati, one of my favorite cities anywhere. I am originally from So Oh.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I just started posting here but have been following your sitch, great work you're doing. Your son is so blessed.
Thanks labug!
Originally Posted By: labug
After 9, almost 10 months, I am getting to same place. What a relief, huh? But the most important healthy relationship I'm working on is the one with me!
Yes, it feels good getting myself to being closer to the best possible place I can be. I want nothing more than to continue this momentum.
Originally Posted By: labug
I think I first clicked on your story because of the 'nati, one of my favorite cities anywhere. I am originally from So Oh.
Awesome! Would it be giving too much information if I asked where you're from. I am not originally from Cincy, but not too far away - about 1 hour or so North of here - Dayton area.
