I don't think you're comparing Apples to Apples here (love that game by the way - great for everyone in the family). Every situation is different. Death - is NEVER easy. Neither is divorce. But they are not the same.
Everyone needs to cut themselves some slack here. I, too - wished my ex had died. Many many many times. He continued to cause us repeated pain over the course of many years. Death in our situation would have been easier. Simple.
Wii, C2H - just because you may have chosen to be the ones to move out does not mean you were the ones to end the marriage. You are both here on DB and I believe your spouses made the choices that caused the marriages to end. It isn't about the "leaving" here. And - yes - we all contributed in some ways to the downfall of our marriages but in mostly all of our situations - our spouses wanted out - simple and nothing we did made a difference. So cut yourself some slack. You are good dads!
