You have asked a very relevant question and made some extremely relevant statements. I am afraid that before I can answer, however, I will have to provide a little more detail about our R, and I don't have the time now while at work. And I am fixing to have to leave to attend our counseling session on my lunch hour, but I will elaborate at a point in the very near future. If I can't get to it during the day today, I will certainly get after it this evening.
Thanks for your question and comments.
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.