"have any of you, as you pass time with as a live-in WAS, find that you are having trouble remembering the feelings you had with your spouse before they walked away?
yes^^^^^^your brain plays tricks to protect you from pain. And yes, I never thought that my W would turn into this ( yes I challenged her to get a D in the heat of a fight). I went from being the love of her life to being a hated man? Rick you just admitted that you challanged her to get a divorce. Maybe more than once. WE here know you didn't mean it. Does she?
Regardless, what matters is the maxim you have heard here 1000 times; "believe nothing they SAY and only half of what they DO."
We all say things in the heat of the moment we regret later, but may NOT admit...I'd eliminate "divorce" from my vocabulary though...it's just too hurtful and too nuclear. But you have to let her heated words go, for your sanity but also b/c things said during arguments are NOT that valid.
Living in the same house while being rejected and talked to in ways by your W that you never heard of before is super hard and painful.
If I were you I would stop reading her FB page it is only hurting you and making you assume things that may not be real. I assume that after many months of rejection and being cold that you start to let go and meet your own needs. Hang in there
How's your work on you going Rick? I like the DB moves and growth you are experiencing. Try not to obsess so much about OMs...
my experience about OMs is that while they are good for my ego, (when they flirt or compliment)
I usually find that my h comes out looking pretty good by comparison. He's in good shape physically, very well educated and we have many things in common, plus our history together and parenthood.
Can't your w say the same about you? Newsflash, most men won't compare that well, and I say that though I like men.
But most over 45 are not in great shape, many have wacky quirks & idiosyncrasies that can be UN-fun, they don't look good, are not well informed, but may be opinionated, which is a turn off, or are religiously weird or adamantly atheistic.
For a lot of women that's a turn off. So is an angry ex wife and kids, and most men over 45 are going to have that baggage too.
Don't sell yourself short.
If you are working on YOU, then when the OMs show up IF THEY DO at all, she'll look your way and see the changes YOU have made
and then she'll be free to choose, won't she? Have some faith.
When you operate in fear, you are NOT operating in faith.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
