Hello, I'm a WAW, but only because H has OW

[trustinginHim]

Hello Pattie--ignoring the circumstances, nice to meet you!

I do have the two books, DB and DR and are studying them intensely, however I am still in so much pain I remain ambivalent about reconciliation. My thoughts right now are even if he came to me professing undying love, and that he had been so, so wrong and could I please forgive him and work on the marriage with him, I don't even know if I would feel like doing so. I sure hope this is a normal feeling at this time.

When reading the two books, most notably DR, I am intrigued by the 180, TLR and going dark. In our R, I was the withdrawn one, he would come to me and "fix" the problem. Since I was the one to leave, I am still the withdrawn one, so he is getting essentially the same treatment. I guess he got tired of that after 8 years. Personally, I can't blame him for that.

So, I don't really know what my next move should be. Do I start a "pursuit", which would be a 180 for me? He wants this BMOW really badly. If I start "pursueing" him, what kind of reaction should I expect? Will he run faster and more often to BMOW?

I tried to get him to respond to my instant messages last night when he was online with BMOW. He ignored me. Yes, I was nice and sarcasm was at zero! I plan on asking him why he ignored me in our counseling session today. I hope he tells me the truth!

Back to work for me.

LG